Kate Jardine
Number: #42
Position: Cutter
Years of Experience: 5 Years
Nickname: Jar, Grand Moff Jarkin
Previous teams
- Lotus (2009-2010)
- Caps (2011-2012)
- Union (2012-2013)
Kate grew up in Vancouver, and moved to Toronto in 2008. She started playing competitively that year with the University of Toronto team, Torontula, and hasn’t stopped since.
As well as Union, Kate has played on Lotus and Capitals. She has also been lucky enough to represent Canada at Club Worlds with Lotus in 2010, Beach Worlds in 2011, and as part of Team Canada Women’s in 2012.
Outside of ultimate, Kate likes super nerdy things like scrabble, Star Wars, knitting, and reading. Especially reading Lord of the Rings.
Who would win in a fight, Gandalf or Yoda?
Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger (or, as I like to call it, Moves Like JarJar)
Kardinal Offishall – The Anthem
Both of these esteemed gentlemen are not only virtuosos in combat, and peerless in their fields, but they are masters also of morality and composure. So the peculiar thing about this matchup is that neither would allow it to happen, since they are both spiritual, gentle, and would have the utmost respect for one another. More likely, they would challenge each other to brew the perfect cup of tea, a pursuit so esoteric and nuanced that the result would prove so much more to them than a mere contest of combat strength.
So to begin with, Gandalf is an old English dude — and who would know teas better? He is a world-traveller, a gourmand, and an intimate friend of all sorts of herbs, leaves, and powders. Yoda, on the other hand, is really quite a very old dude, so he’s conceivably had thousands more cups of tea than Gandalf, who even huddled inside, day after day, from the dreary dampness of Britain has got nothing on eight centuries and the melancholy of Dagobah. And you know that swampy environment & dark side energy would produce some really complex flavour profiles.
Gandalf ducks into Yoda’s hut and is unperturbed by the miniature furniture. He produces an unassuming tea cup which is already steaming, sending wispy tendrils of smoke into the air. The smoke coalesces into playful imps and faeries in his beard, lingering near his nose and lounging in the soft bed of hair. They tickle with a layered fragrance and a magical warmth. Yoda tilts his head and smiles politely. Leaning casually on his cane, he elevates the cup towards his mouth and with a little wave and a gentle force push, dissipates the insistent steam creatures. He takes a sip and makes a gurgly murmuring sound of pleasantly surprised approval.
A clay thimble floats across the room and waits to sit on Gandalf’s wrinkled palm. A murky liquid sloshes around inside. With equal parts skepticism and anticipation, he plucks the cup with his other hand and throws it down the hatch. Yoda, capable of manipulating the individual atoms of flavour & accent, has force steeped an impossibly complex blend. He cleverly preserved some dark side energy in the mix, so Gandalf’s first sensation is that of a nameless fear – a brooding, suffocatingly cold darkness that constricts his throat and makes him pull his cloak more closely around himself. Then a hint of light pierces the darkness and with a rushing pop his throat and tastebuds and pupils and pores and mind spring open. The world is radiant & wholesome & good. He leans back, exhausted but exhilarated, revelling in a high that obscures all of his shame at losing.
“Well, I tried.”
“No! Try not. Brew, or brew not. There is no try.”
First of all let’s assume we take the most popular version of Gandalf (portrayed by Sir Ian McKellen) against the most popular version of Yoda (puppet Yoda not CGI Yoda).
With that we can safely assume that Gandalf would also have his buddy Captain Jean-Luc Picard (the best Star Trek Captain as portrayed by Sir Ian McKellen’s buddy Patrick Stewart) by his side and Captain Jean-Luc Picard is obviously going to bring a bunch of X-Men into the fight as they’d all come to the aid of their friend Professor Charles Xavier.
So, in the end I’d imagine Wolverine slashing the hell out of that little muppet while Gandalf stands back, chuckles to himself and smokes his giant pipe and launches some fireworks to celebrate his victory.
The end.
Wow, this is a very tough question to answer…like “What happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object?” or “If you taped a piece of toast jam-side-up to a cat’s back and threw the cat out the window, would the cat land on its feet or its back?”
(Please note that the window is not very high up, so the cat will not be injured in any way)
This would be a tremendous battle between good and…um…also good. It would be epic.
By the end, a giant bird being ridden by a pack of hyperactive teddy bears will swoop in and destroy both of them somehow.
Lord Voldemort
Leave your answers here for me to read!